This Raya, only memories for wife of MH370 crew

Intan Maizura Othaman is trying to make this Raya as joyful as it can be for her two children, Muhammad and Iman, after losing her husband, Malaysia Airlines cabin crew Mohd Hazrin Hasnan, in the MH370 tragedy. – The Malaysian Insider file pic, July 28, 2014.

This is Muhammad’s first Raya, but the two-month-old will not spend it in his father’s arms.

His mother Intan Maizura Othaman can only imagine the joy of her husband, Malaysia Airlines cabin crew Mohd Hazrin Hasnan, if he were celebrating Raya with their son and four-year-old daughter Iman, and tucking into his favourite rendang ayam.

But that is all she has – imagination and memories.

Hazrin was one of 12 MAS crew members on board MH370, which vanished on March 8 en route to Beijing.

More than four months later, there is still no trace of the aircraft carrying 239 people.

Not knowing her husband’s whereabouts and whether he is dead or alive has made Raya more depressing for Intan.

“We never failed to celebrate Raya together since we got married seven years ago. Life feels empty without him this time,” said Intan, who will be in Shah Alam for this Raya.

She and Hazrin were planning to return to Intan’s hometown in Perlis for Raya but after MH370 disappeared, she decided to celebrate at the house they bought in Shah Alam.

“I don’t feel like celebrating. What is there to celebrate anyway? I will not be cooking. The kitchen will be underused this time.”

As for the kids, Intan said Iman could not wait to wear her new baju kurung.

“This year she has four sets of baju kurung. All courtesy of her aunts and friends. She is excited while Muhammad has two sets of baju melayu. So this Raya will be for the kids to enjoy.”

Recalling Raya with Hazrin over the years, Intan said for her husband, the occasion meant time to enjoy his favourite dishes and for her, time to coordinate their attire.

“I would cook him his favourite rendang ayam. He would be there to help me, dicing the onion, lemongrass, cutting the chicken. He did it because he knew he would be the one eating most of it.”

She would pick their attire, which would be colour coordinated.

But this year, Intan has no desire for any of that.

When asked if her daughter still asked about her father or whether he will return for Raya, Intan said Iman has not brought it up.

“I try not to talk about it with her. She is a kid. I am going to let her be one and enjoy the festivities with children her age, getting duit raya from her aunts and uncles and just being happy,” said Intan.

She said that was most important right now, keeping Iman well, healthy and happy.

Iman has also been struggling with her emotions since the disappearance of MH370, said Intan.

“I can see it in her eyes, when she tears up looking at me at night. It’s happening more often nowadays. I know that the tears are for her father. She misses him.

“I am not able to hold back my tears when I see her like that.

“Now, when she cries, I calm her by playing a video clip of her father and we would watch it together,” said Intan.

After four months of no news of her husband, is Intan still hopeful?

“Although there is still no news, deep down inside, I am still hopeful. It might just be me trying to persuade my heart.”

- TMI